, , ,


I remember falling.

We were playing, I think. Chasing one another between and across the universes. I must have been careless. Something went wrong, and I fell.

I think I have been falling for a long time.

Eventually, I landed here, with a dull “thud” unworthy of so long a trajectory. Why here? I cannot explain it to you. I am afraid that you lack the relevant concepts. Let’s just say that the life of this planet drew to her. Did you know that this is the only place?

It took a few minutes before I was able to stand up, during which I realised I was now subject to time. As soon as I was vertical – I was now as you are subject to gravity as well – the rumours started:

“ – Is he an Angel? ” I do not know what an Angel is, but I suspect I am not one. I was never anything deserving of a capitalised initial.

Nonetheless, there was no stopping them:

“ – He fell. Did you see him falling? An Angel fell here. Does that mean? Are we?…”

Look! I need to set the record straight. I am no Angel, whatever that is. We were just playing, roaming really, across the universes. There was a… an imbalance between the planes upon which we usually move. I was imprudent; I should have tested this universe before I stepped in. I had been warned that places such as this one existed, even if they are very rare. I was told they were dangerous and I was to avoid them. But I didn’t. I ran in and I fell.

But you are not listening. You carry on regardless of whatever I say:

“ – If we are in Hell and he fell. Is he…? Are we gonna…?”

You are not in Hell! And yes, I know what Hell is. It’s a depressingly common concept. OK, I will try and explain to you why I fell. Listen to me: your scientists are wrong. They cannot see it yet because their instruments are not accurate enough and, after all, the discrepancy is really tiny. But I have made the measurements, far more precisely while I was falling. I had a lot of time on my hands. Your “laws” regarding the conservation of energy are wrong, the laws of thermodynamics are wrong. They shouldn’t be: in most places, in most universes they are indeed the norm: energy is never lost, it merely changes form. Kinetic energy becomes heat, chemical energy creates light, and so on. There is no loss, the equations are always balanced.

But not here, this is an imperfect universe. Oh the loss is tiny; as I said far below anything you can hope to measure. But in a near infinite universe, where a near infinite number of interactions take place every fraction of a second, it’s enough. I cannot entirely exist here. As soon as I started reacting with your universe, I became less. Only a little, yes, but a little was enough. I fell.

So no, I am not an Angel, just a traveller who lost his way and can never hope to go back again where he belongs. And this is not Hell.

Not yet anyway.

I know that your physicists tell you that the laws of entropy mean that eventually all matter in this universe will be converted into energy, into light. But they are wrong. Already you are losing too much energy. You are bleeding too much.

Trust me: I have seen universe made of light and they are beautiful places, wondrous beyond my capacity to explain and yours to understand. And they look nothing like what this place is destined to become: forever expending, and cold, and empty. Devoid of life.

Your world is not Hell yet, but it will be.