, , ,

…And here you have it, the insanity of this place in a nutshell.


Maybe I flatter myself but, when I see you all, when I see all that has been done, and old Adolf and his new friends and everything they have accomplished, I think sometimes that it was my question which started it all.

More probably though, he only arrived that day at the logical conclusion of a long reflection, as he sat there in the dark, listening to me felling those trees.

Whichever it was, you know the result. He did as he said he would and went north to the nearest Gate he knew of, and there he started tying people up. That wasn’t easy at first, he had to make ropes with hair and grass and whatever he could find, most of the time human skin. But soon enough other people understood what he was getting at and, far from being alone, he rapidly had to spent all his available time organizing them in teams, shifts and whatnots. He was always a good organizer, old Adolf. After a few months, he even started sending messengers to the other Gates, and from what I’ve heard the system is now pretty much universal.

You see, the new arrivals are a bit of a problem; and until old Adolf started tying them up, nobody really knew what to do with them.

They are bad people, you understand, mostly, or they wouldn’t have been sent here. I mean, some of them are worse than others, certainly, and I strongly suspect none of them was ever as bad as old Adolf was. It’s all relative, I suppose. But still, this place is better than it was. For instance, the Others are not here anymore to torture us every minute of every hour of every day. That has to be an improvement. Obviously, it’s still pretty bleak, but, what can I say? It works, and it gets better. We have at least a chance to improve it even further, which is a lot more than we would have with a constant influx of bad people coming in and messing things up, I am sorry to say.

No, it’s better to have them all tied up and lying there for a while, waiting there a few hundred years, maturing I suppose you could call it. Trust me it’s kinder than the pitchforks and the lake of fire, and way better than being a tree.

And eventually, it ends.

Hey! Do you want to know my theory about this place? Of course you do! What am I saying? Well, I think it’s a dump! Ah, a dump! It’s a good one, right? But think about it: it’s true. This place was never about punishment, whatever they say. And certainly not about justice. That was old Adolf’s discovery: after all you only punish somebody if you want to teach them something. And we, who are going to stay here for all of eternity, what would be the point in teaching us anything?

But still, and I think that’s the real epiphany old Adolf had that day in the woods – a truth that, when I finally understood it, nearly drove me mad with anger – still, even if they didn’t want to teach us, we managed to learn a thing or two.

We managed to learn! Do you see what that means? It means that here, as on Earth, people are slowly changing all the time. And they are all here until the end of time! Not that you need that long to change in a significant way: shortly enough, as Adolf said, not only are you not the man or woman you once were, you are even able to understand that person anymore!

Do you see the problem, now? I am not the man I was on Earth. Fuck that! I am not even the man who walked these woods with this old German all that time ago. I am not the man I was a hundred years ago. You, me, Adolf, nobody is. And nobody on Earth had any idea how much a man can change when they endure for ever. This whole place is full of innocent people! Innocent people who are supposed to be tortured mercilessly for centuries without end! The stench of this crime, the very existence of such a place, if there was any justice, should make life in Heaven unbearable to all there. It is a livid and irremovable stain on the perfection of Its being. But there no divine Justice, there is only divine Will.

No my friend, this is a dump. This is where the powers that be drop us and forget about it. Because we don’t fit in with the Plan. So, obviously, they will say it’s all about punishment. They have to, to protect their fragile, overblown egos. But really, we have just been thrown out of the beautiful people’s party.